College

Being a Junior means one thing:

Planning for College.

Everything you do is focused on your future:

Preparing for SAT's, deciding what to major in, which college to go to, toughing through school to get the grades you need to get into your college of choice, etc...

It also includes some life-changing decisions too. Deciding what plans God has for your life, figuring out what you would like in a guy (for future marriage, if thinking about it), developing the skills you'll need in the business world--things such as leadership, working together, listening, debating, getting things done, persuading, etc.

All of this can easily pile up into a lot of stress on one person, and can be very hard to figure out! Some never do, some do and become extremely successful, where as most get through most of it and maybe miss a couple of things, but get out good.

Well, all of this weight has finally fallen on my shoulders, and so now I am trying to sort through it all.

It pains me to realize that I am not ready yet to move out and be on my own, but that is what these last years are for. (: Taking the time to figure out how things work and how to do things before you leave!

(I can't give advice yet on how to get through it; I can only talk about things that I'm going through, so I will not even attempt to go there.)

But for the past year or two, I have been thinking a lot about this question:

What do I want to go to college for?

Wow. Tough question when you haven't ever thought about it, right?

For some people it's obvious. Take my sister for example:

She has always loved arts & crafts. She loves working with kids. Her dream for life has always been to go to the college my mom went to. What is she doing now? Art education major at that same University.

Easy-peasy-lemon-squeasy.

But for someone like me? Not as easy.

I have sooo many different dreams, and so many different interests! There are things that I am good at (Math) and things that I don't believe I will ever be (History). Then there are the things that I do for fun (Art & Singing), but they are weighed against the things that make a good salary (Not art & singing). Of course you have my spiritual interests (Missionary, Start a Church, etc.), but they slightly rely on getting a job first, and getting married too (I want to start a church with a good husband, one or two kids, and a few other close families in the same spot).

So there are many different things for me to think about.

Finally, I came to a conclusion that I wanted to major in Graphic Design.

(Problem is, now I don't know if I really should.)

:/

It's so funny how one day you are so sure and set on what you are going to do, and the next you are back at the drawing board, trying to work things through again!

So now I've been debating again what I want to go to college for. Still looking. No news yet.

Maybe I'll come back and comment what I decide on after I go...

But now, the next step in the process?:

Where do you want to go?

Ahhhhh!!! Hardest question ever!

Why?? Well....

Raised as a Church of Christ Christian, I have only 'known the existence' of 3 colleges to choose from. Three's a good number right? Well, not really, but better than none, right?

Okay, so now that I'm looking through them, I marked off one, because it doesn't have Graphic Design (which now I'm unsure of), and I marked off (for the most part) the other, because my sister went there, and who wants to go to college with their sister? (I do love her, but we have our differences... (; )

So it came down to one college.

Great.

Then I looked around a little wider. I found two more colleges I might like; Christian, and had good Graphic Design programs... but then people told me the school had more of a title of "Christian", when it really wasn't any better than a State College.

Great.

So then there was one... or none, to be honest.

I honestly don't have any heartfelt choices in my list of colleges! Somewhere along the way, all the places I was encouraged to go to, have been turned off by someone who warned me not to go there, and so I really don't have a favorite choice! I fear that every college will seem great, then seem horrible, all based on individual experiences; yet the more negative comments I get, the less interested I am in those places!

Now I have about five places that "should" be my top choices, yet don't inspire or encourage me to go there at all, one place that I've heard of, but again, haven't been greatly encouraged to go there, and nothing else to do.

Here is when I turn to God and just say:

Help?

I'll be praying a lot for guidance on this topic. I'm even considering a non-Christian school that has maybe a Christian group thing in it, rather than Christian schools, just so that I can get more options...

Pray with me, please, that God shows me where to go, and what to do. I already see him working on me, so I know for sure that he has a plan for me, but I want to know His plan! I have to trust that he will provide for me, though. It's another struggle, and a good lesson to learn for later in life--but, again, a struggle.

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.' "

-Jeremiah 29:11-12 (NIV)

~♥

My Story

This is a speech I wrote for Rhetoric class this year about how I've come to believe in Christ. I wish to share it with you, and I hope it inspires someone.

(I removed some names for online use.)

I was raised in a great Christian family. I attended a Church of Christ every Sunday for years. I've been at a Christian School all of my life; and I went to a Christian Camp in the summer every year since first grade. Christianity surrounded my life from day one. If you saw me in school, I was the quiet girl. Being a Christian, at that time, was nothing more than being good, singing pretty songs about God in Church, and learning about the Bible stories.

It wasn't until High School that any drama even affected my life. Some of the issues I met, I had already faced a little in Middle School with friends outside of school; but the only way I knew how to handle them was to ignore it. In High School, even though I was at a Christian school, there were people openly lying to parents and teachers. There were groups together cheating on homework. I heard someone curse almost every day. For the quiet girl who was coming out of her shell, this was a huge change from what I had been used to seeing. I honestly did not know what to do, and I made a lot of mistakes that year.

At the end of February of my Freshman year, I took a trip to Tennessee with my youth group for a huge Christian youth rally called Winterfest. I had been there the year before, and so that year, I convinced my whole family to come with me. It was here that I met real Christianity.

I heard people sing as though God was right before them and listening to their words. I learned new songs with words that were clear about their message, and not hidden behind fancy Bible language. I listened as the speakers explained how there had been a Veil that kept us away from God, and that when Jesus died, that Veil was torn from top to bottom, so that we could be with God again. I spent the last night crying and praying with my friend Alicia. The last day I was there, the speaker announced, "If you feel you need to give your life to Christ right now, please, come forward." I turned to Alicia, and I asked her, "Alicia, will you walk up there with me?" She said, "Of course!" and I was baptized that very day back in the hotel's hot tub. I cried through the whole thing.

For the next year and a half, I have gone up and down through struggles, making mistakes and learning from them. I've been learning how to trust God with my life, how to resist temptations, and how to lead others. I will openly admit: I am not perfect. Being a Christian means always growing, so I know I will never be done struggling with life; but I can say that I am a better person now than I ever was because of Christ.