Wandering

"Prone to wander, Lord I feel it... Prone to leave the God I love!"

Lately I've been wandering. These words from the song written by Robert Robinson always ring true in me when ever I hear them.
Here in America, we can be bombarded by distractions simply by walking into a room.  It's never hard to turn on the TV in my home or use my laptop, or play some music.  No, maybe everything isn't bad; we are so blessed to have all of this!! But the more and more it takes up space in my life, the worse it is for me.

Recently I was looking at a web site that explained why you get pimples in certain places on your face.  As I read through the spots where I had frequently seen zits, I found that most spots seemed to suggest that I drink more water, and go outside more often.  Then I realized that the longest I ever spend outside every day is only a couple minutes going from here to there.  I really love the outdoors, but when I decide to take a rest, I tend to snuggle up on the couch watching TV or browsing the internet. Who would've guessed that this was becoming a problem for my appearance?

It got me thinking, what do I do with my time?

At Winterfest, a youth rally in Gatlinberg, TN, they played a video about how much time we spend doing certain activities throughout our lifetime. We all laughed when it said that we spend about three years of our life just sitting on the toilet; but when it took an average of how much time we spend reading our Bible?  It was less than any other activity listed.  Not so funny anymore, now is it?  How is it possible that we spend so little time in the most important book of our lives? Is the Bible not food for your soul, and do you not feed your body at least three times a day?

So I took a look at my daily routine, and I realized, the most I every normally focus on God is an occasional prayer right when I wake up, a chapel talk on Mondays and Fridays, and a maybe 30 minute reading/praying session with God about my day (unless I'm too tired and just fall asleep). How sad is that?! Not to mention, total time outside: less than 5 minutes. (I want recess back!)

If you asked me, "Do you ever get distracted from God?" My answer would be, "YES. A lot."

So I'm challenging myself this week to take at least a half-an-hour break when I get home from school to go sit out in my lovely lawn or on my front porch and pray to God.  Bible required. And I challenge you too to do the same!  Open up and admit that you wander often, but that you want to start focusing; then pray this to Him:
"Here's my heart, O take and seal it; seal it for Thy courts above."

So here goes hoping, and trusting, and praying,

"Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord;
    may your love and faithfulness always protect me.
For troubles without number surround me;
    my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
    and my heart fails within me.
Be pleased to save me, Lord;
    come quickly, Lord, to help me."
- Psalm 40:11-13

Endless Faces

This is a song that I wrote today, while thinking about the past and now.  I don't have a good tune to it, but if someone likes to make nice tunes and makes this a song, please share with me!  I'd love to put this to music.

All these endless faces
Are rolling past my mind
What once gave me a broken heart
Now I'm leaving it all behind

Oh, you know
I've been rescued from my hole
Oh, it shows
I'm finding my way back home

A tear fell on my shoulder
But now my cheeks are dry
It once gave me a broken heart
Now I know I won't ever cry

Oh, you know
I've been rescued from my hole
Oh, it shows
I'm finding a place to go

"What happened to what we had?
Why'd we ever let go?"
All those lies were just stuck in my mind...
I'm leaving that all behind

Oh, you know
I'm rescued from my hole
Oh, it shows
I'm finding a place to go

Oh, you know
I'm rescued from my hole
Oh, and it shows
I'm on my way back home

~♥

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
- Philippians 3:13-14

Pearls

Last week, I attended Camp Manatawny and had an amazing, mind-blowing, heart-opening experience!  I learned many things and I hope I am able to share them with many people, because these are lessons I never want to forget.

In my first Bible Class (girls only!), our teacher read us a beautiful story about a pearl necklace.  I love this story and it warms my heart every time I hear it!
The story was this: The Pearl Necklace

Well, this story has rung true with me many times in my life.  We all struggle with it!  There is something between us and God that we just don't want to give up.  It can be anything: possessions, decisions, pride, bad relationships, our old lives.

For me, it was my deepest-darkest sins. I had been impure, but I had refused to do anything more than just ask for forgiveness.  It was one of those sins that you wanted to handle alone because you were too ashamed to tell anyone about it (I still am ashamed even), but sin is impossible to conquer without God.  Finally one day, I gave up fighting.  Against everything inside of me, I surrendered to God and told my best friend about what I had been doing, and I asked her for help and prayers and forgiveness.  That was the best decision of my life.  The effect was immediate, and I stopped Satan right then and there.  He left me, and I never was unable to stand against those sins again.  Yet, a week later (although this was the last time), I gave into the sin and felt dreadful.  That's what Satan does to us; he will never leave us alone.  He never leaves me alone!  A wise grandmother in my church said it this way:
"You might be done with Satan, but sweetie, he isn't done with you."

But, as this story says, God takes away our sin.  He took it away, once and for all.  Can we keep sinning?  Yes, but why would we?  That would be stupid!  And I'm telling myself that, because it was stupid!  It's taken me a year to realize this since I quit that past way of life, but once we are baptized, we have the freedom to choose not to sin.  We can look it dead in the eye because of Christ and say "No."
After suffering for so long with the thoughts that surrounded my past, I became familiar with the signs of my heart fading into that temptation.  Immediately, when my heart started to fall two weeks ago, I sat up straight and told myself, "NO. Never again."

Guess what girls? It works, because of GOD.

Give your pearls to Him.


"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart,
lean not on your own understanding,
in all of your ways submit to him, 
and he will make your paths straight. 
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body, and nourishment to your bones."
-Proverbs 3:5-7

Strength in God

This is what makes Christianity so much more real and better than anything else.

Excerpt from How Should We Then Live? by Francis A. Schaeffer:

"It is important to realize what a difference a people's worldview makes in their strength as they are exposed to the pressure of life. That it was the Christians who were able to resist religious mixtures, syncretism, and the effects of the weaknesses of Roman culture speaks of the strength of the Christian worldview. This strength rested on God's being an infinite-personal God and his speaking in the Old Testament, in the life and teaching of Jesus Christ, and in the gradually growing New Testament. He had spoken in ways people could understand. Thus the Christians not only had the knowledge about the universe and mankind that people themselves cannot find out by themselves, but they had absolute, universal values by which to live and by which to judge the society and the political state in which they lived. And they had the grounds for the basic dignity and value of the individual as unique in being made in the image of God."

(Schaeffer, Francis A. How Should We Then Live? Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 1976.)

It's true how Christians are able to battle through life much stronger than other people are. And why is that? Jesus.

There's something about this religion that sets it apart from any other religion or theory out there today. From the outside, it looks crazy to believe that some guy fed 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish, that he made blind people see by rubbing mud in their eyes, and that he was raised from the dead after dying on a cross; but we understand that there is an all-powerful, loving God with a deeper plan working behind all of life. He gives us this hope that Paul talks about; hope in something unseen, something we are still waiting for. What other people do not have that Christians have is that hope for a future with God, in a place where there is no more evil.

How is all of this possible?

Well, here's the run through:

Jesus is God. He came to earth as a man, born to a virgin woman. As he grew up, he lived as a Jew, learning the Old Testament, and living a perfect life for God. He became a teacher and choose everyday Jews to be the ones to learn all about God and his plan for them. He healed people who showed faith in him, taught them about heaven using everyday language, and fulfilled all of the prophesies made about him in the ancient scriptures. Then, Jesus-although he was perfect-let guards arrest him for claiming to be the Son of God, King of the Jews, was beaten and then crucified on a cross with robbers on either side of him. He died in the same day, was buried in a tomb before the Sabbath started, but then when Sabbath was over, was missing from the grave. The large stone that had been rolled by men to seal his tomb shut was rolled away, and his linen cloth was left inside-Jesus was ALIVE. He was witnessed by thousands of people after his death, and then was watched as he ascended into heaven, leaving the task of spreading the word to his twelve apostles, whom he had taught everything he knew.

The important part that Jesus explained about this is that when Jesus died, since he was perfect as a man and as God, he himself became a "guilt offering" for everyone. You could think of it as he was the newly-bought, perfectly-clean dishrag that wiped off every single dirty plate so that they shone spotless and could be used again. Just like that, Jesus took all of our dirty nasty wrong-doings away forever, so that we could be used by God for good. If you're a dirty plate, you're not going to get used again unless you're clean, right? And if you're a plate, you can't exactly clean yourself; nor, once you're clean, should you just sit on a shelf, not being used?

So what does this have to do with strength? Well, Paul seems to have explained it better than I could, so here's what he has to say. Hebrews 12:1-3 (after a long passage about men who had Faith):

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

To pull it altogether, Jesus lived and died for you, to give you strength, so that God could use you, all because God loves you. Our strength is in Jesus; take heart, my friend.

♥

(P.S. If you actually read all of this, I applaud you!)