Young Promises

When you make a promise to someone, a promise that you probably shouldn't have made, it makes it harder to let go... especially when you made the promise before you were old enough to know what you were saying.

It's hard for me to see little kids run after each other, having 'boyfriends" and "girlfriends" and telling each other they "love them".  It's got to be important to us to teach our kids and our younger peers in school that things like this aren't important--that it's more important to become a better person for God.  I don't like young relationships, mostly because I was in one that's been affecting the rest of my life, and I don't want some of their innocence to be ruined by a pitiful, easily avoided mistake.

But to keep this brief, I will admit, maybe it's good for them to learn young.  Not that they should have relationships in elementary, but that when they are a teen, they can learn somehow what is truly important to them and to life, somehow, someway, by God's plans.

I guess I wouldn't be writing this blog if it weren't for those times when I found myself crying out to God for help because of what I'd done.. but I still can't help but wish I hadn't said some of the things I had, like "I promise to always love you" when I was only fourteen years old.  But I do believe in God's promises--that he will use everything for our good (Rom. 8:28)--and so I just hope that he turns this into a good thing.

But what do you think?  What part should we play in young people's lives?

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will."
- Romans 12:2

Endless Faces

This is a song that I wrote today, while thinking about the past and now.  I don't have a good tune to it, but if someone likes to make nice tunes and makes this a song, please share with me!  I'd love to put this to music.

All these endless faces
Are rolling past my mind
What once gave me a broken heart
Now I'm leaving it all behind

Oh, you know
I've been rescued from my hole
Oh, it shows
I'm finding my way back home

A tear fell on my shoulder
But now my cheeks are dry
It once gave me a broken heart
Now I know I won't ever cry

Oh, you know
I've been rescued from my hole
Oh, it shows
I'm finding a place to go

"What happened to what we had?
Why'd we ever let go?"
All those lies were just stuck in my mind...
I'm leaving that all behind

Oh, you know
I'm rescued from my hole
Oh, it shows
I'm finding a place to go

Oh, you know
I'm rescued from my hole
Oh, and it shows
I'm on my way back home

~♥

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
- Philippians 3:13-14

Pearls

Last week, I attended Camp Manatawny and had an amazing, mind-blowing, heart-opening experience!  I learned many things and I hope I am able to share them with many people, because these are lessons I never want to forget.

In my first Bible Class (girls only!), our teacher read us a beautiful story about a pearl necklace.  I love this story and it warms my heart every time I hear it!
The story was this: The Pearl Necklace

Well, this story has rung true with me many times in my life.  We all struggle with it!  There is something between us and God that we just don't want to give up.  It can be anything: possessions, decisions, pride, bad relationships, our old lives.

For me, it was my deepest-darkest sins. I had been impure, but I had refused to do anything more than just ask for forgiveness.  It was one of those sins that you wanted to handle alone because you were too ashamed to tell anyone about it (I still am ashamed even), but sin is impossible to conquer without God.  Finally one day, I gave up fighting.  Against everything inside of me, I surrendered to God and told my best friend about what I had been doing, and I asked her for help and prayers and forgiveness.  That was the best decision of my life.  The effect was immediate, and I stopped Satan right then and there.  He left me, and I never was unable to stand against those sins again.  Yet, a week later (although this was the last time), I gave into the sin and felt dreadful.  That's what Satan does to us; he will never leave us alone.  He never leaves me alone!  A wise grandmother in my church said it this way:
"You might be done with Satan, but sweetie, he isn't done with you."

But, as this story says, God takes away our sin.  He took it away, once and for all.  Can we keep sinning?  Yes, but why would we?  That would be stupid!  And I'm telling myself that, because it was stupid!  It's taken me a year to realize this since I quit that past way of life, but once we are baptized, we have the freedom to choose not to sin.  We can look it dead in the eye because of Christ and say "No."
After suffering for so long with the thoughts that surrounded my past, I became familiar with the signs of my heart fading into that temptation.  Immediately, when my heart started to fall two weeks ago, I sat up straight and told myself, "NO. Never again."

Guess what girls? It works, because of GOD.

Give your pearls to Him.


"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart,
lean not on your own understanding,
in all of your ways submit to him, 
and he will make your paths straight. 
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body, and nourishment to your bones."
-Proverbs 3:5-7

Praise Him, Not Me

You may see me,

And you may think

'She is holy'

But that's not me.

Some say I have it good with Christ

But that's not what I see.

I am weak.

I have sin.

We all do.

Like Paul,

the older I am

the worse it gets.

Do I need God?

Y E S.

So this is me

After I was freed:

Still slipping in sin

Stuck in mud

I couldn't see.

Something needed to change.

I gave up.

I cried.

I died

To myself and my ways

And I became His

So that He

Could work through me.

When I gave in to sin

He overcame

When I fell

He took over my life

and became my strength.

You see,

I am a sinner

Jesus saved me

I have no muscle

Jesus was my victory

When He declared

"You shall sin no more"

Fighting the devil

Was no longer a chore

So when you see me

Don't say,

"Oh how good is she"

Because there is no way

I could do a thing without God

For He is the strength

That you see in me.

Praise Him alone

--not me.

"Let them praise the name of the LORD, for His name alone is exalted; His splendor is above the earth and the heavens."

-Psalm 148:13 (NIV)

Truth

The dream hasn't left me
Vividly, I can still see
Its bright marks across my eyes
No longer in disguise

The dark blue veil was torn away
In the bright truth of the coming day
No more far-off hopes twinkling above
Sprinkling down their star-dust "love"

The truth came slowly at first
Scratching through until the sky burst
Leaving pink scars stretched across the sky
Bleeding through with blinding light

Finally, sin put up its last fight
Then finally fled at the death of the night
While the sun rose again from his deathly grave
His purest love shone on my face

Drying my tears and setting me free
He reveals what the night hid from me
So that I can see who he wanted me to be
To live with him for eternity